Dividing a family is never easy. It is not the divorce that hurts the children, but rather the way the parents get divorced and how the conflict between them harms the children.
Divorce should not be seen as a failure but as a change in the family. This decision should be addressed together as a unit. This comes with constant loving reassurance towards the kids. The children need to know that the imminent divorce is not their fault, but rather differences the parents were not able to work out. This will be the best thing for them, truthful and direct honesty. This is immensely difficult if the divorce is one sided, or if there has been an affair, but this is crucial for our children to understand the whats and hows.
The most important part is allowing the children to return to normal routines after the news breaks. This means keeping study and homework routines the same, and keeping expectations the same. You need to be their supportive outlet and not let sadness distract the children from their studies. This support comes from both parents and encouragement is necessary to make sure the message being spread does not differ between both parents.
Parents should come up with a parenting plan that works in favor of the children which prioritizes their education. The children are not your therapists, and this means not saying critical or negative things about your co-parent. You are all in this together. Your children should not be burdened by your concerns. If this is particularly difficult for you, invest in a counselor that can aid with feelings of anger or sadness. You do not want your children to feel the pain and difficulties you are experiencing and you want to be as level headed as possible.
The best way to help your children during a divorce is reassuring them. You need to tell them that you will never stop loving them and that the divorce is not their fault. Children desire hope for the future. Do not scare your children with talk about finances or moving but rather the continued love you will have. Ultimately, you will be a family no matter what. Your children’s needs must always come first, and you do not want your children thinking that they need to choose sides.
Most importantly, try to work things out with your co-parent by agreement, not litigation, and do your best to pressure financial resources for your children rather than spend on attorney fees.
This is one of the hardest times of your life, and you want someone that can aid you in keeping everything as peaceful as possible. At Law Practice Ltd., we strive to provide you with the best representation possible, all while helping you and your family during this stressful time.